The day I flew first class with Jesse Jackson and Dan Quayle

11Jul08

With Jesse Jackson back in the news (and being slammed by Nas), I have to recall one of my favorite days of my life: the day I sat on an airplane with Jesse Jackson and Dan Quayle.

In 2004 I had just finished a project in Chicago, and the next day I was flying to Brazil to meet my friend Kit, who was in the Peace Corps in Paraguay.  To celebrate the end of the project and prepare myself for the 12-hour flight in coach, I decided to cash in a couple of my United Airlines 500-mile upgrades and fly first class from O’Hare to LaGuardia.  I was the first passenger to board when the first class cabin was called, but to my surprise, there was already a passenger on the plane: the Rev. Jesse Jackson.  He was in seat 1F, and I was in 2A, but just walking past him I was astounded by his girth, his cologne, and his black vest.  Upon seating I handed my suit jacket to the flight attendant, and then I began sending text messages to everybody in my Sidekick’s address book: “JESSE JACKSON IS SITTING IN FRONT OF ME ON THIS AIRPLANE!!!”  I received some standard “Ha ha” replies from friends, and my friend Sameer, who was working in Bahrain at the time, wrote that he had never heard of someone so excited by Jesse Jackson.

So we received our drinks, and the plane was about ready to take off, when another passenger boarded at the last minute: former Vice President Dan Quayle.  And he sat down directly in front of me.  Good looking man, that Dan Quayle.  “Jesse Jackson!”, he said.  Jackson replied, “Hello, Dan Quayle.”  Of course I whipped out the Sidekick again and began typing furiously, “NOW DAN QUAYLE IS ON THE PLANE TOO.”  Sameer replied immediately, “Why would you make up stories about seeing washed up politicians?”

Before the flight, both politicians talked on their cellphones.  Jackson’s rang repeatedly (his standard Nokia ringtone was turned to full blast), and he bellowed rather than spoke into the phone.  Quayle told somebody, “I’ll be staying at the Waldorf-Astoria, under the name ‘John Danforth’” (I get that Danforth is his middle name, but isn’t there already a politician named John Danforth?).

A couple of details from the flight still stick out.  They exchanged some pleasantries, but soon they retired to the comfort of their newspapers; Dan Quayle read the USAToday, while Jesse Jackson read the New York Times.  They both napped.  When the pilot announced that our landing would be delayed, Quayle called out, “Tell air traffic control Jesse Jackson is going to be late to a meeting!”  Jackson didn’t really laugh at that.

The best part was toward the end of the flight, when Quayle took out a paperback and started reading.  It looked like a cheap thriller, and when I peeked through the crack in the seats and read over his shoulder, I was blown away by some of the words in the novel.  This from the man who made an example of Murphy Brown??  It’s my fault that I lost the paper where I had written the name and author of the book – I remember looking it up on Amazon and reading that it was set in Miami and somehow featured an ex-stripper girlfriend.  Or something like that.

Anyway, we landed, and some official-looking guys (Secret Service?) met the plane to escort Quayle off.  Jackson and Quayle cordially said goodbye, and before exiting Quayle turned and said, “Jesse, take it easy on my boy Bush!”

I let Jackson get off before me, and I stopped to use the bathroom before grabbing my taxi.  When I took the escalator down to the baggage claim area, I saw Jesse Jackson standing alone, barking into his Nokia, presumably wondering why his people weren’t there to pick him up.  What’s that word Jarvis Cocker used to describe the people who are running the world?  Anybody?  John McCain, surely you know the word….

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One Response to “The day I flew first class with Jesse Jackson and Dan Quayle”

  1. potato-e


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